Couples come together in a relationship for both conscious and unconscious reasons. There is a normal tension between each individual’s needs and what the couple needs. The aim of couples treatment is to identify what works in your partnership and what needs to shift for the greater happiness of both partners.
Couples who live with a constant drone of friction, blaming, shaming, fighting, or couples who are distant and aloof live without appropriate tools to make a healthy relationship. They know how to create a relationship but are stymied by how to manage it. All sorts of things can prevent people from finding the harmony and intimacy they long for together. As with most emotional struggles there are usually roots in each person’s family history.
When I work with a couple, I look for the roots of how they learned about relationship in their families of origin. I identify attachment styles from each person’s family in order to bring people closer to love warmth and understanding and away from fear of abandonment or dependency and vulnerability. I help the couple to use their relationship for the necessary protection and support we all need in our lives. These are especially complicated and unpredictable times. Global pandemics and economic confusion leave us all vulnerable to despair. Hope, love, connections to others and the goodness of life are an antidote to despair.